TODAY IN BEARS

WELCOME SUMMER, WITH YOUR SWEATY, SWEATY AWFULNESS. IF ONLY BEARS COULD SPEND THE NEXT THREE MONTHS BY A POOL SIPPING DRINKS AND READING SHORT STORIES. DAMN THE MAN.

PUT THIS ON AND WATCH THESE BEARS JUMP. YOU’RE WELCOME.

(Source: whatdaheart)

ADOLESCENT LADY-BEARS DOODLE IN THEIR JOURNALS TOO. HERE YOU SEE ONE SUCH BEAR’S WORK. THESE ARE HER CRUSHES AND TODAY’S LESSON IN FORAGING IS BORING SINCE HER DAD TAKES HER OUT WITH HIM ON THE WEEKENDS AND SHE’S LEARNED FIRST HAND. SHE INSTEAD SPENDS HER TIME DAY DREAMING ABOUT HOW JOSHUA SORT OF LOOKS LIKE ROBERT PATTINSON IF TWILIGHT WERE ABOUT BEARS AND NOT VAMPIRES.

GPOY

(Source: nosdrinker)

IT TOOK ALL YEAR BUT PATRICIA HAD FINALLY BEEN INVITED TO A PARTY AT THE COOL KIDS HOUSE. THE KIDS WITH THE PARENTS INEXPLICABLY OUT OF TOWN EVERY WEEKEND. THE KIDS WITH A POOL, AND OLDER COUSINS TO BUY THEM BEER.

PATRICIA ALWAYS KNEW THAT THIS GROUP OF KIDS WAS VAIN, SUPERFICIAL, AND UNTRUSTWORTHY, BUT THE PARTIES DID SOUND LIKE FUN AND SHE WAS DETERMINED TO BE MORE SOCIAL BEFORE HEADING OFF TO COLLEGE.

SHE HAD HAD JUST ENOUGH SANGRIA TO FEEL BRAVE SO WHEN DAVIN, THE CUTE BEAR WHO WAS IN A BAND AND ALSO SEEMED LIKE HE DIDN’T BELONG HERE, DARED HER TO DIVE OFF THE DIVING BOARD, SHE SAID YES BEFORE HER FEAR COULD STOP HER.

WHETHER IT WAS THE CHILL OF THE WATER, THE FLUSH OF THE BOOZE, OR THE FEELING OF DARING SHE FELT WHEN SHE JUMPED SHE KNEW ONE THING: WHEN SHE BROKE THE SURFACE THE FIRST THING SHE’D DO WAS FIND DAVIN; HIS FACE WAS ABOUT TO BE KISSED.

IT’S COOL, JULIEANNE, BEARS ARE MUCH MORE PROGRESSIVE THAN OTHER WOODLAND CREATURES AND APPRECIATE YOUR SEX-POSITIVE APPROACH TO CASUAL SEX PARTNERS. PLUS YOU PROBABLY HAVE THAT CHEAP HONEY THAT COMES IN A BEAR WHICH, BESIDES BEING A BIT DEROGATORY, TASTES LIKE A GHETTO BEE-HIVE. 100% CLOVER HONEY OR GTFO.

lizaahh:

Bear with me 

By Graham Franciose.

AN ARTISTIC RENDITION OF THE ANGUISH CAUSED BY THE VERY FIRST SPRING ALLERGY ATTACK IN A BEAR’S LIFE.

(Source: bleaqblog)