January 2010
23 posts
WatchCAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK THIS IS A VIDEO WHERE A BRAVE CAT IS TRIUMPHANT AGAINST A BEAR. THEY’D BE WRONG. THIS BEAR JUST WANTS SOME GARBAGE, HE’S NOT VIOLENT. THE CAT IS ALL RAISED HAIR AND CLAWS AND THE BEAR IS PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT WHAT AWESOME SWAG MIGHT BE IN THE GARBAGE BAG OR HOW THE COUCH WOULD LOOK ON THE SOUTH WALL OF HIS CAVE.
IT’S LIKE WHEN A HOMELESS PERSON ASKS YOU...
Use your iPhone to scare a bear (right before it... →
BEARS WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY THE SOUNDS COMING OUT OF YOUR SHITTY IPHONE SPEAKERS. WE’LL HAVE YOUR HEAD IN OUR MOUTH SO FAST WE MIGHT CHOKE ON YOUR JAWBONE HEADSET.
STEVEN COLBERT HAS MARGINALIZED OUR DANGER. WATCH OUT GADGET NERDS, WE’RE HUNGRY FOR YOUR FACE.
WatchWHY DOES THIS VIDEO GUY HAVE TO GO AND SHOW BEARS ALL AWKWARD IN THE WATER? EVERYONE KNOWS OF THE COORDINATED MAJESTY OF A GRIZZLY GRABBING A JUMPING FISH OUT OF THE AIR. NOW THEY’LL THINK ‘HE BETTER CATCH IT SINCE IF IT WAS UNDER WATER HE’D JUST FLAIL AROUND TRYING TO PICK UP A DEAD SALMON LIKE A FAT KID THAT FELL IN THE POOL’.
WE’RE BEARS, AND WE WON’T...
HOW LONG CAN YOU LAST?
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