DO NOT BE ALARMED IF A BEAR APPROACHES YOUR VEHICLE. NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN HE’S HUNGRY BUT MAYBE HE’S JUST NOTICED THAT YOU KIND OF LOOK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN CRYING ON YOUR COMMUTE THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS AND IT MAKES HIM SAD.
DURING THE SUMMER YOU WERE ALWAYS SINGING AND DANCING TO ACE OF BASE AT THE STOP LIGHT. YOU’RE SO PRETTY.
HE THINKS YOU SHOULD MAYBE GO A LITTLE EASIER ON YOURSELF. IT’S PROBABLY JUST SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER. SURE, END OF THE YEAR DEADLINES ARE HARD AND YOU’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BOSS; YOU DRESS HOW YOU DRESS FOR YOURSELF, NOT HIM.
CHEER UP! YOU HAVE A NICE CAR, LOOK SHARP EVERY DAY, AND YOUR MAKEUP IS BETTER THAN MOST OF THE SHLUBS THAT PASS BY THIS STRETCH OF ROAD. ALSO, HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? IT’S SO HARD TO DO AROUND THE HOLIDAYS, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.
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